My Lazy But Brilliant Christmas Tree Cocktail

The first time I tasted a gin and tonic, I immediately thought of a Christmas tree. At the time, it wasn’t a good thing; I was very young, and nowhere close to appreciating the juniper notes in gin — and whatever gin I had was juniper-y as fuck. I eventually grew to love the drink, and it became the inspiration and base for my super-fucking-lazy but also kind of brilliant (if I do say so myself) Christmas Tree cocktail.

Here’s how it all went down: At one of my infamous but now defunct Holiday Hooplas (the Christmas party I held most of the 9 years I lived in Brooklyn, which was way back in the early aughts), I decided to just stick a fucking candy cane in a gin and tonic and call it The Christmas Tree. I was in my early 20s, and broke, and well, not as into making cocktails as I am now. And come on, it was FESTIVE. AS. FUCK.

Well, I’m still festive (as fuck, even), and also very into making cocktails, so now I’m going to give you my fancy-ass description of this very basic drink [turns on fancy-lady voice]: This cocktail — a gin and tonic garnished with a candy cane instead of a lime — celebrates the piney essence of a gin and tonic with a festive pop of peppermint. As you sip it, the candy cane dissolves, lending a refreshing minty flavor where one would typically expect citrus. Yada, yada, I’m so fancy.

Anyway, I’m not going to insult your intelligence with an actual recipe. Make a gin and tonic with the most juinper-y fucking gin you can find. Put a candy cane in it. The end. Merry Christmas. I love you.

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