Oh, hi. Apparently March is almost over. Don’t know how the hell that happened (I mean, I haven’t even filed my 2016 taxes yet — WUT?!), but I haven’t seen the sun in a fucking week so your free printable April 2018 calendar is all about those April showers. And because printer technology not improved since 1999 and your printer probably sucks as much as mine does, it’s available in both color and black and white. As always, the calendar is free (you’ll get both versions with your “purchase”) and as you probably know by now, the only catch is that you need to “buy” the file from my store before you can download and print it. You don’t have to pay any money or give any credit card info or anything like that. Nope, you just have to plug your information into some little boxes. But I promise I won’t sell your email address, or stalk you, and if you create an account it makes it really easy to download it next time — as well as go back and re-download your previous purchases. Some people plug fake information into those boxes, and while it is slightly annoying, as long as you follow me on Instagram in return, I don’t really give a fuck. But if you do plug in firstname.lastname@example.org, you won’t get the email with your download links or my newsletter (you know — when I finally get my shit together enough to do it in, like, three years). So there.
And, really, don’t forget to follow me on Instagram. Honor system. Don’t be a dick.