I barely got it done on time, but here’s your free printable May 2018 calendar! I’m keeping it simple this month with black and white dandelion seeds — BECAUSE LIFE IS FUCKING BANANAS RIGHT NOW. And I like dandelions; I have a tattoo of one on my arm. Anyway, whoever told me it was a good idea to renovate my kitchen over the course of a couple of weekends while also holding down 17 jobs and having a toddler is a real asshole. (Oh, wait, IT ME. I’m the asshole — the asshole who is turning 36 in eight days!).
As usual, the this pretty little calendar is free, and as you probably know by now, the only catch is that you need to “buy” the file from my store before you can download and print it. And you have to deal with a printer — so ha ha, joke’s on you! You don’t have to pay any money or give any credit card info or anything like that. Nope, you just have to plug your information into some little boxes. But I promise I won’t sell your email address, or stalk you (unless you’re super cool and I want to be you), and if you create an account it makes it really easy to download it next time — as well as go back and re-download your previous purchases. Some people plug fake information into those boxes, and while it is slightly annoying, as long as you follow me on Instagram in return, I don’t really give a fuck. But if you do plug in firstname.lastname@example.org, you won’t get the email with your download links or my newsletter (you know — when I finally get my shit together enough to do it in, like, three years). So there.
And, really, don’t forget to follow me on Instagram. Honor system. Don’t be a dick.